Blog
The downside of being open.....
Posted on June 16th, 2009 at 7:15pm
I'm sure some of you are aware that I deleted a few posts today and I believe I should explain why:
The relationship between fans/admirers/friends and a person who is in the public eye (in this case by making music) is always going to be a weird one. I have done my utmost to be open and civil but the fact is, and please don't take this badly, my friends and family will always be more important to me and I sincerely hope that you will always pick your's over music.
The reason I drew the line today is this: if someone decides to send e-mails to me abusing me when they've only met me once then I have to consider that a touch unbalanced. When they use language that I wouldn't expect or tolerate from my own family or close friends then it's time to say goodbye.
I do this for two reasons. One, I'm too old to play attention games more suited to my seven year old daughter. Two, as I tell my kids every time a situation like this occurs - just walk away, it's not worth it and life's too short. I can only hope that a person who has met me once will heed that fatherly advice.
I am, and always will be, open to constructive criticism and am happy to discuss opposing viewpoints. There are people that I've disagreed with and I'd like to believe they respect my opposing viewpoint as I respect theirs. If it deteriorates into name calling and pure attention seeking, then I for one will heed my own advice and just walk away.
Respectfully yours
Papa S.
Comments
Posted by Daniella on Monday, June 22, 2009 - 00:16.
I've just been reading through this thread, and I can't believe what I'am reading? Sounds like somebodys gone a little too Kooky?? mmmm! Don't worry about those threatening FB messages girls, it's really not worth it ! Life really is too short to worry about other people's insecurites!!! Enjoy what you have!
Curt keep on doing a great job of running this great site, for all us Kooks who respect and enjoy coming here. Thank you!!
And again Happy Birthday Curt !!! Don't worry be happy!! :o)
Daniella
EZEZEZEZ
Posted by Celeste on Saturday, June 20, 2009 - 20:36.
You're right Carolyn. I should stop talking about this now.
10
9
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3
2
1
Shutting up right now. :)
Tears For Fears Fan
www.blogyourjourney.com
My fan website
Tears For Fears Fan on the Ning Social Network
Posted by Carolyn on Saturday, June 20, 2009 - 18:13.
Celeste,
You said "It was from someone who said they were speaking on behalf of Katy and Claire". My question is why in the world would that person feel the need to speak for Katy and Claire, unless Katy and Claire were unable or reluctant to speak for themselves. Katy and Claire are obviously adults and obviously able to use the Internet, so why do they need someone to speak on their behalf?
Celeste, this is the whole backdoor thing I talked about before. Any person who feels the need to enter the backdoor is not someone that I would want around my house. If one cannot knock on my front door and state their business directly to my face, then I ignore that knock on the backdoor. Usually when I hear a scratching at my backdoor it is just a dog/cat/raccoon/posssum/critter sniffing around for some food. But when I don't feed them, they leave.
Carolyn
Posted by Celeste on Saturday, June 20, 2009 - 17:45.
Corinna,
Thanks for telling me that story but I think this is just a case of someone who's taking their Curt Smith KOOKiness a little too far.
It was from someone who said they were speaking on behalf of Katy and Claire. Saying that I should "watch what I say" and that I shouldn't "repeat things that other people don't like." They've met Curt twice and that he "grossly exaggerated everything in his blog." Sorry but I don't just take someone's word that they met a celebrity seriously unless they can prove it.
I didn't bother to read it all because I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of responding to it but I got the gist of it and it was rather disgusting of this person to tell me what to do. I always feel better when I talk about things that bother me because I never like being told what to do.
I won't be chased away from Curt's site. Dumber people than that have tried to chase me away from places. All have failed.
We don't know who's been sending these e-mails but they claim to be a friend of Katy's. So I won't be playing any games that are better suited to younger members of my family.
Tears For Fears Fan
www.blogyourjourney.com
My fan website
Tears For Fears Fan on the Ning Social Network
Posted by yara on Saturday, June 20, 2009 - 01:23.
Papa S. Your signature "Respectfully yours" is truly apparent in your attitude. I appreciate it : -D I'm not sure of what's happened but I hope that the "troublemaker" doesn't ruin it for "the rest of the class". I can say that I appreciate your keeping us up to date on things and hope this dark cloud will float quickly away. I can't wait til July!!!
Yara
Posted by corinna on Saturday, June 20, 2009 - 00:45.
Oh Celeste,
i feel for you - i also was stalked by someone on FB threatening to send photos ( of what i never knew...) of me out to everyone - its an awful feeling.
I decided to take matters into my own hands ( foolish i know - but i was flipping mad..) i replied to this nutter on FB - telling him to f**k off and get a life or I'd report him - it paid off - never heard from him again... If you need help setting your privacy settings on FB - friend me and I'll help you. I am the only Corinna Plum on Facebook - that's my claim to fame...lol
Cx
Posted by Celeste on Friday, June 19, 2009 - 22:31.
^^Where did you get that?
Tears For Fears Fan
www.blogyourjourney.com
My fan website
Tears For Fears Fan on the Ning Social Network
Posted by Celeste on Friday, June 19, 2009 - 21:13.
I'll be sure to tell her that. This is just one of the reasons why I keep everything in any social networking pages that I have set to private. I should tell Margie to set her page to private.
Thank you so much you guys. I love this place too much to be chased away by people who even don't know me.
Celeste.
Tears For Fears Fan
www.blogyourjourney.com
My fan website
Tears for Fears Fan on the Ning Social Network
Posted by SuzanneOlden on Friday, June 19, 2009 - 18:44.
Margie also emailed me in Facebook. She was very upset and understandably so. I don't know if the person who was emailing her is still lurking here reading or not but I wish that it would stop. The person who emailed her did so because it is obvious that Margie is a person who is passionate about the band and music she likes and this person knew s/he could upset her. It makes me angry. I hope, and Margie said as much to me, that she is now calmed about what was said to upset her, but it's just become exceedingly ridiculous!
My advice to any and all of us is to do what Curt said - ignore them and delete the message(s). Without the attention, it should stop.
EZEZ
Suzanne Olden
Posted by Carolyn on Friday, June 19, 2009 - 18:22.
Celeste,
Have Margie and Alexis report the person doing this.
Tell Margie not to worry about what she did to provoke this person, she didn't do anything but be a way to get to you.
This is a perfect example of one of those back door people I was talking about. The person couldn't contact you directly because your page is an invitation only page, so they are attempting to go in the back door to get to you. Just have your friends block that person, and things should be right again.
Carolyn
Posted by Celeste on Friday, June 19, 2009 - 18:11.
Hi Curt,
You're right. Life is too short to be bogged down with this. But the problem is the messages are only signed "a friend" there's no name or fackbook page address. They couldn't send it to me because my page I have to invite you to join my page. So they sent two messages to Margie on her page. She was really upset because she didn't have any idea what she did pravoke this person.
I do appologize for burdening you with my personal problems but this person seemed to have thought that Margie was taking sides when she wasn't.
I can send you these messages via facebook but oye vey was I ever pissed. I'd like to think that anybody who attacks any of us personally is no friend of mine.
I just don't know what to do? I don't like feeling uncomfortable knowing that somebody can upset my friends like that and I consider Margie and Alexis to be very good friends of mine.
Tears For Fears Fan
www.blogyourjourney.com
My fan website
Tears For Fears Fan on the Ning Social Network.
Posted by Carolyn on Friday, June 19, 2009 - 17:54.
Celeste,
I echo what Papa S. said.
If someone is PO'd at you for whatever reason and cannot post or reach you in one way on the Internet, they will try lots of other ways. Some people use the front door, but other people will try and sneak in the back door and try to do harm. I have personal experience with this....been there, done that, got a crapload of t-shirts.
Curt is right, life is short. Don't let anyone chase you away from here, don't let anyone intimidate you.
Carolyn
Posted by Celeste on Friday, June 19, 2009 - 16:59.
Can I have a 30 minute tirade please? May I please ask what the hell is going on here?
I leave a message for Curt telling him how I feel and suddenly somebody is writting threatening messages to me, through someone else's facebook page, telling me to "watch myself?"?
When I say "I connect very personally with Curt" I mean I connect with him through his music and nothing more. TFF's, and Curt's, music have helped me deal with deaths in my family, the most recent death in my family was my grandmother who died two and a half years ago, my parents splitting up, and other personal problems that I'd rather not bore you guys with.
Look I don't know if this person has actually met Curt and quite frankly I don't really care if they have met him. I won't be chased away from this site because someone here is trying to intimidate me.
The last thing I want to say is that if you have something that you want to say to me then go to my facebook page and say it to me personally. Don't go through someone else's facebook page. But if you're going to be rude then don't expect me to be very nice. :p
That's it for my vent.
Celeste.
Tears For Fears Fan
www.blogyourjourney.com
My fan website
Tears For Fears Fan on the Ning Social Network
Posted by ritienne 17 on Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 19:02.
hello!ihave just discovered this friendly site and am very impressed at how down to earth Curt is.it is truly wonderful that he puts family first and all that goes with being a musician second.I like the songs on Halfway,Pleased especially Coming Out and Addict but i couldnt find it locally.will it ever get a release in Malta?thank you
Posted by justjules on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 21:15.
I love all these comments and agree. I missed the blowup and not sad in the least that I did. I am the mother of a 9 year old girl, the same age I first had my crush on you. Now I think "ewww, yuck" and that it was slightly weird. I have celeb friends and never look up to anyone but my family. I love that you are a family man raising kids just like I am. I love that you love your family and I like your social commentary. I grew up in a very liberal family, solely raised on those views alone. I am a Christian, in a conservative world. My views are very middle of the road. I see both sides and don't go one way. I appreciate reading your commentary, it helps me see things that I rarely get to interact with anymore.
My family is my first priority, as should everyone else's should be. I appreciate you taking the time to be a real person to us other real people. We are all imperfect and really will never attain perfection in this life. We need to all get along.
Someday look forward to meeting you face to face.
Posted by Carolyn on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 19:14.
Just wanted to post something positive that has served me well through the years, I'm making it my mantra. :)
"Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much".
Wish I could copyright those words, sounds like a nice song title. :)
Carolyn
Posted by ck2d on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 17:40.
Suzanne - you nailed it on the head. Our man went from being a god on high to the quintessential family man to me, and you know what, he's all the more awesome for how he loves his children than he ever was as a musician. And I'm not slamming his musicianship - his personhood just dwarfs it. And can I just tell you how proud I am that my childhood crush turned out to be such a cool and amazing person! So proud of myself. I mean, heaven help me, it could have been Corey Haim or the like. Okay I need to be quiet now before I embarrass myself. :-)
Posted by Sheila on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 16:23.
I am so sad that this has happened. I must of missed the post, because I can't believe that it has come this far. Curt what you said " just walk away, it's not worth it and life's too short." is so true! I do hope "said person" will realize how hurt I am and many others who tried to get "said person" to walk away. I'm sorry that this has happened I just don't know what to say.
Curt I respect you and thank you for taking time out for your fans. I have had the pleasure to meet you several times this year and you are very kind and patience with your fans.
You are one great guy!!!
Enough said....Who is ready for July!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sheila
Posted by corinna on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 14:51.
Oh dear.....
What could i possibly add that not has already been said by others.
Its a shame that some people cannot see that your only a human doing something you love and have been successful doing it - i call it "jealousy".
You did the right thing - you walked away! well done you...
Posted by Celeste on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 14:28.
This is why I try not to get into anything that's politically charged or has anything to do with politics in general. I tend to get too into it emotionally and when I do get into it emotionally I tend to put my foot in my mouth.
When I see something that upsets someone it, for some strange reason, gets me upset. Well all have opposing views on certain issues but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't respect the views of others.
Curt is good to put up with those of us who want to know about him and his life, what he thinks, the air that he breathes, no pun intended, but there is one thing that we have to remember one thing. Most of us are adults here. We should act like it. Because what it all boils down to is respect. We all want it and we should give it in return. :)
Celeste.
Tears For Fears Fan
www.blogyourjourney.com
My fan website
Tears For Fears Fan on the Ning Social Network
Posted by SuzanneOlden on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 13:41.
This site (and myspace before it) has taken you OFF the pedestal, Curt, and placed you firmly on earth - which is a really good thing. Was there a time I idolized? Hell yeah - I became a fan at 16, but your family and friends should take your first priority. Anyone suggesting otherwise is off their rocker! I dare say most of us would lose respect for you if you put fans before your family and friends. Family is first and best, and being the "mama bear" I am, I know for a fact that I would!
Having been one who was on the opposite side of arguments, political and social, I know that you are "open to constructive criticism and am happy to discuss opposing viewpoints". You have disagreed with me and my views (and visa versa) but I do believe that we hold mutual respect - if not for the actual viewpoint, at least for each other's right to hold it. There have been a few times when others became abusive to my minority viewpoint (not the person in question), and Papa Smith and other's (including the person in question) jumped in to stop it. That's why this person's deterioration (for lack of a better word) mystifies and saddens me.
Because of my classes, I missed the posts that caused this, but I will say this - I can understand Papa Smith's exhaustion at being in the middle of it all. I feel similarly. I had hoped that the person in question would just let it go (i.e. as Curt said "just walk away") and I suggested as much off board. Sigh...well, to parrott Kim, I hope that this won't keep you from sharing with the rest of us, or worse yet, let it reflect on the rest of us. If that makes me a bad person, then so be it.
Positively looking forward to next month!!! Pre-dinner party fun, then rockin the night away!!!
EZEZ
Suzanne Olden
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Yes, have a wonderful birthday and enjoy your special day :)
Rosalie